"...vulnerability
awakens in us the awareness that our only
safety lies in absolute defenselessness
of our human weaknesses. In our state of
vulnerability, we allow God to do for us
what we can't do for ourselves."
~ From Debbie Ford’s
upcoming book,
Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop
Being Your Own Worst Enemy
Fireside Chat - a personal
note from Teresia & Sonia
Hello Sassy and Savvy
Woman!
Over the past year or so, we've put a lot
of emphasis on specific skills, strategies
and tools to help you gain control of your
business, balance your life, and make faster
progress toward your goals.
But you can master all the strategies,
read all the books, and attend every business-building
seminar… and still be struggling.
Especially, if you're a woman.
Why? Because women have an unfortunate
tendency to "suffer in silence"
- that is, to harbor their fears and vulnerabilities,
never letting anyone know that they're having
a tough time or feeling stuck. We're used
to putting on a brave face and marching
along, pushing ourselves past the voices
of fear and confusion that linger in the
back of our minds.
It's all good and well to push past your
fears and concerns in the moment, but if
we never stop to address them, they start
to drain our energy levels, self esteem,
motivation and productivity. Lingering in
our minds like a wound that never heals,
the pain distracts us and compromises our
performance.
This month, we'll be pulling the shroud
of secrecy from this typical pattern, empowering
you to address and release the personal
factors that keep you suffering in silence.
It's time to call on this community of empowered
entrepreneurial women for the support you
need to face reality and resolve your most
persistent challenges.
Don't miss this month's
"Savvy
Conversation," a *fre'e* conference
call that will help you learn and utilize
the powerful tool of setting boundaries!
JOIN US and other like-minded business
women on Thursday,
November 15th at 8 AM PST to share
the ways we all suffer in silence, and
explore how we can set ourselves free..
Click here
for more details, and to register!
In this issue:
feature
article
Feature Article: Stop
Suffering in Silence
Being an entrepreneurial
woman takes courage – and lots of
it! We wear 20 different hats, find solutions
to all sorts of perplexing challenges, strive
for a balanced life, and push ourselves
to keep a cheerful smile through it all.
But underneath that perky, can-do smile,
most women harbor a haunting and debilitating
belief: “Everyone else is doing better
than me.”
We show the world a brave and capable face,
but deep inside we cringe, thinking, “if
only they knew….” There’s
a gap between that strong professional persona
and the person who lies in bed at night,
mentally flogging herself for her inadequacies
and transgressions.
Over the past decade, we’ve coached
over 1,000 women, and we can honestly say
that almost all of them struggled with some
form of this internal suffering. Women are
almost compulsive about beating ourselves
up, silently stressing over the missed workouts,
the neglected marketing plan, our cash flow
problems, and lost time with the kids. “I
should be doing better,” we tell ourselves
over and over.
We get used to thinking this way; we buy
into these thoughts so completely that they
become part of every day, gradually draining
away our energy, motivation and momentum.
They chip away at our self esteem, deflate
our victories, and distort our sense of
reality.
The more drained and demoralized we feel,
the harder it is to show up as the ambitious,
powerful woman that everyone else knows
us to be. Before we know what’s happening,
we’re sobbing into a latté,
with a girlfriend nodding sympathetically
by our side.
But then, a ray of light shines through
the clouds. When we wipe away the tears
and see the encouraging smile of a woman
who’s felt the same way, when we feel
the weight of this secret lifted from out
shoulders, things start to look up. We don’t
feel so bad about it. We see that we’re
not alone after all. And we start to focus
on solutions and support.
This is the shift that we want for you
this month. Stop suffering in silence! Stop
tucking away your fears and regrets in the
back of your mind, where they fester and
haunt you, working to create more of what
you don’t want. Instead, bring your
secret struggles out into the light. Take
a good look at them, acknowledge them, and
if you’re up to it, share them with
a woman (or group of women) who will encourage
and support you in turning things around.
Whether you struggle with financial concerns,
self-discipline, low motivation, time management,
growing your business, taking care of yourself,
guilt, family challenges… whatever
your own personal demons are… dare
to be vulnerable and admit them to someone
else. It’s ok, really! We all have
these challenges. And as soon as you own
them, you reclaim all that energy that went
into hiding and denying them. A “new
you” steps forward, ready to accept
support, find solutions, and move ahead.
It’s just amazing how much energy
bubbles up when we turn this corner. Mentally
and emotionally, we experience a refreshing
new freedom. It’s a wonderful feeling,
and it gives you a burst of power that you
can use to make lasting changes.
Women are collaborative by nature, but
sometimes we forget to lean on each other
and get vulnerable. Make it a point to reach
out, open up, and share your troubles. Life
gets easier when you do. Remember, “pain
is inevitable; suffering is optional.”
Savvy
Steps: Hitch up your pantyhose and get moving!
This month, we strongly encourage you to
dig out your secret struggles – those
things you wouldn’t want your clients
to know about – and shine a spotlight
on them. Refuse to let them haunt you from
the shadows any longer. Drag them out in
the open and have a good look. Make time
to journal about them, releasing your thoughts
and feelings onto paper. Quite often, journaling
becomes a doorway for solutions to appear.
Be willing to be supported on these challenges.
There’s power in that willingness!
Sometimes, that’s the pivotal piece
that turns things around.
Now for the big step: come to this month’s
Sassy Conversation and speak up. Share your
innermost challenges with the other women
on the call, and be open to receiving their
help. Be honest, be vulnerable, be supported.
You’ll be relieved to see how many
other women are in the same place as you,
and we promise that you’ll walk away
with a deeper sense of compassion for yourself...
and some new perspectives, too!
If you can’t make it to the call,
please make a commitment to have a heart-to-heart
with your closest girlfriend. (If she’s
far away, you can do like we do: have a
“virtual martini” over the phone!)
However you do it, stop suffering in silence
– give a voice to your challenges
and set yourself free.
Another
Sassy Breakthrough! Sonia & Teresia
This month’s topic is especially
dear to our hearts because it has made such
a difference in our own lives. In addition
to being business partners and longtime
friends, we often share our deepest, most
secretive concerns with each other –
and found the support that we both needed
so much.
Not long ago, life took significant turns
for both of us. After more than a decade
of being classic, Type-A career women, strongly
focused on growing our businesses and achieving
professional success, our priorities shifted.
Instead of revenue and marketing, we both
found ourselves thinking more about relationships
and having children. Our hearts were leading
the way, but our identities were still wearing
business suits and high heels!
Feeling pulled in two different directions
was intense, distracting, and a bit confusing
for both of us. But when we opened up to
each other and talked about this change
of pace, suddenly it was ok. Just knowing
that other one was in the same boat helped
us both feel better, and we were able to
exchange perspectives that opened our minds
to new ways of thinking. For instance, Teresia
had been feeling less successful because
she had not been growing the business like
she had in the past, but Sonia reminded
her that she had just bought her dream house
– with her dream man! That’s
a very different kind of success, something
she should be celebrating! From one conversation,
her personal life stopped being a “distraction”
and became a source of strength and pride.
She felt more relaxed and energetic, no
longer conflicted.
It’s so comforting to have someone
you respect championing you and sharing
similar concerns, and it’s so empowering
to step up and support another woman. We
are committed to supporting and celebrating
each other, and life is so much richer because
of that.
Women empowering
women! Be an inspiration to other women
and share your own Sassy Breakthrough!
If you’ve experienced some inspiring
successes and you’d like to be profiled
in the Sassy
and Savvy Newsletter, we want to
talk to you! Have you had a win in dealing
with your tolerations, raising your standards,
setting boundaries, send an e-mail with
a brief description of your breakthrough
to stories@sassyandsavvywomen.com,
and we’ll be in touch!
Featured
Tools & Resources
Have you checked
out our Savvy Mastermind teams?
In the spirit of this month's theme, "Stop
Suffering in Silence," explore the
power that can be found in a group of like-minded
professional women. Let go of the "Lone
Ranger" mentality and join a Savvy
Mastermind team. Click here.
The Magic
of the Mastermind is the most complete
guide available to forming and managing
your own mastermind group - your personal
board of advisors! Written from the voice
of experience by our mastermind group of
coaches, this book includes tips, strategies
and insights on what makes a group truly
successful.
Learn how to create
your own thriving mastermind team. Take
your business to the next level by working
smarter, not harder.
To find out more click here.
Savvy
Conversation - November 15th at 8 AM PST
Savvy Conversations:
Next coaching call on November 15th at 8
AM PST
If you're ready to open up and share about
your own tendency to “suffer in silence,”
we welcome your participation in a very special
Savvy
Conversation. Feel the support and encouragement
of women just like you, ambitious, but human.
Get the coaching and insight that could make
all the difference, and experience the magic
of our community of powerful women. We invite
you to join
us on November 15th at 8 AM PST / 11 PM
EST for the next Savvy Conversations Coaching
Call. Remember, these calls are *fre'e*. We’ll
"see" you there!
Watch for more upcoming developments from
the Sassy and Savvy Women! We are building
one amazing community, full of top-notch resources
and high-caliber guidance for the self-employed
woman.
And we're hard at work on our powerful
new book: Sassy
and Savvy Self-Employed Women: The Ultimate
Guide to Leverage Your Business and Love
Your Life. If you'd like to preview
a chapter, click here!
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